Some people worry that they will hurt their partner. Telling them where and how to touch or moving their hand to avoid pain and find the most pleasurable spots will get around this anxiety. During and after cancer treatment it is common to feel weak and tired. If this is the case, it may help to ask your partner to take a more active role than usual in lovemaking.
No matter what kind of cancer treatment, the ability to feel pleasure from touching almost always remains. Some will need to learn new techniques or, in the case of gynecological surgery, may even need to relearn how to have orgasms. Keeping your options open means maintaining an open mind about ways to feel sexual pleasure. Many people have a narrow definition of 'normal' sexual activity. As an example, it is not uncommon for some people to think 'sex equals penis-in-vagina intercourse in the missionary (what do you mean there's more than one?) position.' This restricted attitude stands in the way of sensual fulfillment.
Using fantasies of happy memories or special places will distract you from the fears and unpleasantness of the realities. Taking time to explore sensitive parts of your body or playing around with a vibrator will increase stimulation. Trying out different positions to avoid pain and using lubricating jelly to get around vaginal dryness will help to overcome some of the discomforts.

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